What now ... ?

This weekend could have been so difficult for me, leaving work and what has been my life for the past year, behind me to start fresh in Wales, but everyone was really nice and made it so easy. I don't like goodbyes, even though I'm probably going to be back at Christmas! So a BIG thank you to all the fantastic people I work with at Argos - even though you made me cry FIVE times over two days! Thank you thank you thank you for my lovely presents, even the balloon, which almost caused a minor traffic accident on the way home!

I need to go and get some sleep now, because I am getting on a coach to Birmingham VERY early in the morning to go and see my Grandparents. Then, when I come back on Wednesday afternoon, I shall have to pack like a mad woman, because ...

I'M GOING TO UNI ON SATURDAY!!!

Okay, so maybe now I'm a little excited ...
Good night.

Started packing today (bleurgh). As I was sorting through my stuff, chucking out a lot of it, and packing it up into boxes, I just kept thinking to myself - "I never realised I had so much stuff!" There was tons of it! A lot of it I don't remember when I got it, when I last used/read/watched it, why I own it ... what a waste of space and money.

On the plus side, I found some old photos I thought I'd lost forever, and some letters from people I haven't thought about in ages, it was really nostalgic. I don't know how many of my things I can take with me, or what I'll need, or use, when I get there. If I take all of it, I may have a transportation problem (won't all fit in one car!), but if I leave it, or even just some of it, I may have a storage problem (nowhere to keep it all!). I need a compromise - but I'm drawing a blank.

My last day at work is fast approaching, too fast if I'm honest. Most of my friends at work are completely bonkers, but I love 'em anyway! I said goodbye to all the daytime staff today, mainly Carol, and Lisa, because I won't see them till Christmas now. I just have tomorrow evening and then Saturday and Sunday to work. I'm fairly sure I'll cry before this weekend is over!

I don't know how I'm going to cope without my friends ...

Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown

Map out your future, but do it in pencil. ~Jon Bon Jovi, quoted in Reader's Digest

May you get to Heaven a half hour before the Devil knows you're dead. ~Irish Proverb

I think, at a child's birth, if a mother could ask a fairy godmother to endow it with the most useful gift, that gift should be curiosity. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Eighteen days. That's it. Then I'll be off to Aberystwyth (yes, I'm going to Wales to study English - let it GO already!) I go from being really enthusiastic and excited one minute, to being absolutely terrified, shaking and scared. Is that normal?

I started making a list of everything I still have to do to get ready and gave up because it just depressed me how unprepared I actually am. I'm getting sick of waiting now, and it's making me more nervous. I just want to be there already!

I got my transfer sorted out, and the manager down at the Aber store seemed really nice on the phone, really friendly, so it shouldn't be that bad!

I'm going to miss everyone so much, but it's time I made some changes and learnt to look after myself.

Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine. ~Anthony J. D'Angelo, The College Blue Book

I'll spread my wings
And I'll learn how to fly
Though it's not easy to tell you goodbye
I gotta take a risk
Take a chance
Make a change
And break away ...

Dreams are today's answers to tomorrow's questions. ~Edgar Cayce

I had a dream last night where I was at my graduation. I was sat on one of those hard plastic chairs that are usually only found in school exam halls, wearing a long gown and that ridiculous cap. Waiting for my name to be called, it seemed slightly strange that the announcer was calling the names out in reverse alphabetical order, so mine was one of the last, but when he finally got to my name, I stood and started to walk towards the stage to collect my degree. As I walked the stage seemed to get further and further away, and everything went grey. I felt like I was falling, but I could still hear the sounds of the other students and their families polite clapping.
Suddenly I was in a small airless room - obviously student accomodation - sat at a desk, frantically typing an essay that I knew was due that day, without knowing how I knew. Clear thoughts and intelligent sounding sentences were running through my head, but what was coming up on the screen was meaningless inane sentences about random unrelated things, like a film I'd been to see, or something I'd bought the previous weekend. I felt sick, and anxious.
Suddenly, a fire alarm went off, and I woke up, turning MY alarm off.

I'm not normally a dreamer, especially not in such vivid detail, but it's really stuck with me all day.

I don't want to over-analyze this, I know it's normal to be a little anxious about going to University, and leaving home, but I just wonder.

If I can't even get a degree in a dream, maybe I'm still not ready to try to get one in real life?

Either way, I'm going in a few weeks, and I'll have my fresh start, a whole new country full of people to make friends with until they realise just how annoying I am. (Kidding - sort of.)

Wales, here I come!

I couldn't think of anything to write for my first blog entry so I decided to post my favourite poem instead.

The Peace of Wild Things

When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children's lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
— Wendell Berry